Friday, January 6, 2012

Not too worried...ok, maybe a little.

About a month ago I found a lump on my left breast and I didn't think too much of it at the time. It was very tender and hurt. I thought it would go away.....it didn't. But, it no longer hurts. Well, I made an appt and went this morning to get it checked out and make sure everything is O.K.

When my mother was 31 she got breast cancer for the 1st time. I was very, very young. My mom had it in 14 lymph nodes and had a mastectomy. It was very bad. She still never showed anyone how much pain she was in. I do remember helping her after her surgery. She went through chemo and was ok for about 8 yrs. She lost the long and painful battle from Breast Cancer at the age of 42. I was 16. I was home schooled during my Sophomore year to help her and take care of her. I was at her bedside everyday...till the last day. My sister was 14 and a mess....understandably.

My grandmother (mom's mom) had Breast Cancer when I was 2yrs old. She was fine and led a pretty healthy life. She passed at age 82 of Pancreatic Cancer.

My grandfather (mom's dad) had cyst in his breast but never cancer. Yes, men get Breast Cancer too.

This whole experience is a little too close to comfort and I am a little worried. I guess because my daughter is the age I was when I lost her and how her loss has impacted my life...good and bad. Good....that I appreciate people for who they are and all of their flaws. I love life a whole lot more! I promised her I would go to school and make something of myself...which I did. Bad....well, the obvious..I miss her and want a mom...that would be nice. To see her smile and hear her contagious laugh. I would love for her to see her grandchildren. Meet my wonderful husband....I can go on and on and on...their is so much.

Well, we will see what happens. I went to the Dr this morning and she is sending me to the Breast center to have a mammogram. Kinda nervous but, anxious to get it done.

xoxo Denise

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