Emotions

Today I let my emotions get the best of me. Maybe I needed a good cry.....

I took my Jersey girl to the Dr for her 12mo check up. She is growing great and meeting all her milestones but, at the end of her check up the Dr starts to tell me that he hears that she now has a heart murmur and he wants her to get an Echo cardiogram along with other testing. As he's explaining what test she needs I start to cry (which I don't do often) I am the type of person that picks up, does what I have to do and moves on...no time for tears kinda attitude. I just couldn't help to think that something...a valve may be wrong with my precious baby. My Dr is aware of my health issues and is very understanding and tries to console me but, this wasn't the news I wanted to hear...not now...not ever. I cried...and cried....sobbed....I'm still pretty shaken up.....It may be nothing but, it also could be something.....I just want the test done and I want to know what we do next....so until then I will feel horrible and hold her just a little bit tighter...I will hold all of them a little bit tighter.

I hope God is done giving me these lessons because this emotional roller coaster is getting to me and It's wearing me down. I just hope I can hold it together and be strong.

Denise