Feeling so blah.........

Today I am feeling really sad.....sad that I'm letting my life pass me by. Sad that my weight is completely out of control and I don't know how to get it under control. Sad that I don't have any really meaningful relationships with friends like I would like.

That's a lot of pity thoughts. I hate to to have these pity thoughts. Its definitely not me at all. I know I need to change things in my life I just don't know how. I have no family to lean on and no real best friend because I am so guarded. It's a sad place to be in and I feel I am the one controlling it.

On the other hand I have an amazing husband who is truly my best friend. I have 4 amazing children that bring such joy to my life. This weight thing is killing me. You must be asking yourself...then do something about it! Yeah...I ask myself that too. All the time.....I don't have the motivation.....I'm tired from being a mom and wife.....I really could use some me time. I have no energy and I know its partly because of my weight......ugh...I wish this was simpler.....but, its hard work. I just want to be free of this weight....free from this burden.

Denise

The Latest and Greatest!

I'm horrible about this....I don't want to be I just am. I promise I will try to stay on top of blogging.

Lots has been going on.....my wonderful sister in law got engaged!!! They set a date for 3/15/2014!! We are super excited for her! She invited me to go dress shopping with her and I don't think she knows how honored I was to be there! I tried to be cool and subtle but, I was so so excited!!! She ended up picking out her dress and I was there for it all!!! like a real say yes to the dress moment! We had lunch after and talked for hours! It was probably one of the best days with her. Glad we are such good friends and I just love her! 

Dale and I are also working very hard to get sealed in the temple this January!! I cant even express how I feel about it....I'm just so happy to have the life I do. I really get to share it with my best friend. You know that happiness you dream of or see in the movies....yeah...I have that. Real happiness. its amazing!!! My husband is working really hard to be a good son, father, husband and role model. I know its a lot to take on and I just wish we didn't have to sell ourselves for it. He's amazing and that's that. He puts his family 1st. I have never experienced a man so dedicated to his family. he never disrespects me or others and is kind to everyone. It's pretty awesome to share this life with him. Well, like I said we are working hard. Its been a journey with bumps but I must say not too many....or nothing we cant handle. 

When we do have our sealing we are also going to celebrate by renewing our vows in our backyard and kinda have the wedding we never had....nothing fancy but romantic. I cant wait!

We are also on a strict diet! Trying to loose some lb's is hard work and super stressful! I have quite a bit to loose and my husband not so much! I've let my weight take over for too long and it's time I get control of my health! I mean come on Denise! I've made huge sacrifices in my health and I don't want to take my life for granted! I have worked to hard to LIVE! So far I have been walking and next week we start the gym. I know it will be hard but, worth it! I hope....

As for Jacks! This kid just melts my heart. He had his 6 month eval at UCLA. Everything went so good! The Doc wants to see him yearly now!! Can you believe that!? 12-6 months ago he was not talking.....and now he has fluent language and READING! This is a very bright kid with a promising future! Autism & SID are still there and a huge part of his struggles but, he is learning to adapt....and he is pretty much a normal 3yr old. I wouldn't change anything about him. 

Denise xoxo