What I feel right now!

It's. 2:30am so obviously this is not a happy blog! I am so filled with emotion right now! I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm so miserable! The 1st 2 weeks weren't that bad....then 3 weeks comes. I mean when is this gonna be over??? 6-8 weeks???!!! Fuck me!!!!! I have to sleep on my back and I can't move...I can't fuckin get comfortable! I want to punch someone in the face! What am I going to do!?!? My anxiety is out of control! I'm obsessed with my boobs too and I want to at least get to 700cc. I'm at 420cc so I have at least 4 more fills. That 4 more weeks! Of pain...alot of pain. Now I want to cry. Sorry for sounding so crazy right now but I'm feeling overwhelmed.
And I feel so helpless. So completely helpless. My kids have their 16 year old sister taking care of them and she's doing as good as can be but I love for my kids to eat good and play outside and she does neither. I just wish I felt good enough to take care of them. I just wish I wasn't in pain! I'm gonna post a pic of my surgery. I just took it tonight. It's graphic and I have incisions I am still taking care of. They are a T shape and go all the way under my arms. I just have to show you what I'm going through 3 weeks after my surgery. This is just the hardest thing I have gone through and I hate that my family has to take care of me. I think that's what it all comes down to.

Denise