Emotions

Today I let my emotions get the best of me. Maybe I needed a good cry.....

I took my Jersey girl to the Dr for her 12mo check up. She is growing great and meeting all her milestones but, at the end of her check up the Dr starts to tell me that he hears that she now has a heart murmur and he wants her to get an Echo cardiogram along with other testing. As he's explaining what test she needs I start to cry (which I don't do often) I am the type of person that picks up, does what I have to do and moves on...no time for tears kinda attitude. I just couldn't help to think that something...a valve may be wrong with my precious baby. My Dr is aware of my health issues and is very understanding and tries to console me but, this wasn't the news I wanted to hear...not now...not ever. I cried...and cried....sobbed....I'm still pretty shaken up.....It may be nothing but, it also could be something.....I just want the test done and I want to know what we do next....so until then I will feel horrible and hold her just a little bit tighter...I will hold all of them a little bit tighter.

I hope God is done giving me these lessons because this emotional roller coaster is getting to me and It's wearing me down. I just hope I can hold it together and be strong.

Denise

The latest on My Clan!

The kids are all getting soooo big!

Janae is now 16 and just told me she's not in any rush to drive....That was news to me but I'm kinda relieved...phew! She is growing into such a wonderful woman. It's really a pleasure to be her mom. She really respects me and I appreciate and respect HER for that.

My beautiful Janae!

Jayden....He is such a bright, energetic, fun loving little guy! Jayden just turned 4 and makes me laugh all the time! He has a BFF named Taylor...him and Taylor are a crack up...they fight and get on each other nerves but, in the end are besties....They get upset, and then move on like kids should...lol! He is attending preschool and is really enjoying that! He is a bright kid and is a joy to be around!!

The oh so silly Jayden!

Jackson- The terrible 2's are in full effect over here with this little guy! But, Jackson is my sweetie pie and brings so much joy to my heart. He is the cutest little guy and he will steal your heart too. His presence is breathtaking....he really is just full of sweetness!

Action Jackson at his 2nd birthday party!

My Jersey Girl- The feisty oh so sassy miss Jersey! She is def keeping up with her brothers and pulling her own weight. She is def making a mark on this family. She is a funny, spunky, full of life little girl! I just love her contagious smile and booty dance! She make me laugh soooo much! To me....she's a combo of Jackson and Jayden....which makes for a amazing personality! My 13mo old is a DIVA!!

The beautiful and always elegant Jersey.

Denise xoxo!

Not so good at this.....

I really need to post more and put my life down on paper...

Life right now is a little complicated for me...I need Oprah back on TV, ha! But,  really it's not where I want my mind to be and I know things need to change......In me. I wish I had everything figured out but, I just don't. I guess we are always learning new things..learning things about ourselves and the people around us. I like to think I'm a very up front person and I don't deal well with fake people too well. Sometimes I can come off harsh but, I say what I need to say....and I move on. I don't hold a grudge or talk behind someones back. If I don't like something you have done you know it....I'm just not good at hiding my emotions....not completely proud of that but, it's the truth! If I like you you totally know it too..lol!! Well...not all people are that way. People like to talk about anyone and everyone. I just need to stay true to myself and not stray away from that.

Other than that life is pretty GREAT!! I have a crazy life right now!! It's summer time! I am Helping out a good friend of mine with a MOMMY GROUP this summer and we have been super busy with that! We have done some really fun stuff and I LOVE all the moms and their little ones! They make my day just a little brighter!

 Having 4 kids, a home and not too much help with daily stuff is a little hard and I try not to let that get to me but, I'm human and it's tough sometimes. In the end I love my life and everyone in it! Ups, downs...the good and the bad....we all get through it somehow!

Ahh, and my husband....my life...my rock. He's just ahhhhmazing. It's like a fairy tale really....I mean we have disagreements and I don't always like him but, one thing for sure....I will ALWAYS love him! He believes in me....The no make up...crazy bed hair with baby poop on my shirt...he loves me and believes in ME like no one EVER has. That's hard to find...I know. I was married before to a man who didn't believe in himself. My husband is so confident, the most non judgemental person I have EVER met! He inspires me to be better. To be genuine. To see people for who they are truly....not for what they can offer or what they have. Just love them for who they are....That's what he teaches me everyday. AND! He doesn't teach me by words....he teaches me by actions. It's pretty amazing to be his partner. Yup...he has my heart.

Well, to end I have to say I love all my friends and family...We all have faults and things we need to work on and I'm not judging anyone. I'm speaking for my self. I think all the people in my life are amazing and have a lot of GREAT, AMAZING qualities. Those are the things I look for! The inner person. Their greatness! And, all the people in my life are pretty fantastic!  The ones that are "fake" will weed themselves out on it's own....Like I said I'm going to stay true to myself and keep on chugging :)

Good night loves! MUAH!
Denise xoxo!

De

So much to say but, where do I start...

Well...I haven't blogged in a while and I'm not really gonna go into everything tonight. Sorry....

I just want to put up a pic of the FOOBS! I am now 3mo out!!! Woohoo! 550cc's!!