Good news for 2012-2013

Dale and I have decided to start trying for another baby!!!! The Sutton clan is growing! I was nervous about having another but, I want that big family! So wish us luck!

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I don't know how to even title this post without thinking.....Denise...really, your putting that. DELETE. Then I type another title...oh really...even worse. DELETE. I feel so blah and my title is making me depressed. No, really.....

Thinking back....Jackson has never hugged me or given me a kiss....ever. I thought it was just him. I thought well, he just isn't very emotional. Now I'm sad...thinking he may never hug me...or give me a kiss..or even talk. All my dreams I feel are gone. I don't want to think the worst. I want to have hope....but, when your faced with the worst it's all you think about. OK!! ENOUGH! I'm done going there! If you ever hear me being negative....smack me!!! HARD!!!! My Jack Jack will succeed. PERIOD!

I want to write about Jersey walking and all the cute things she's doing but, i feel myself thinking....but, is she autistic too or have something wrong with her....why isn't she pointing like other 1yr olds??? Why, why, why?!?!? I feel like a complete paranoid freak.

"Jersey...say ma-ma.....Jersey...wave.....Jersey say more......Jersey....say da-da......" Really??? I'm annoyed and kinda embarrassed I'm doing this.....She's14mos.

I hope this passes and I can become normal. I'm his voice. That's what I keep saying. My sons nurse (who has an Autistic son herself) told me to just deal with Jackson...one day and one thing at a time. I know I need to but, my mind is just racing. I just want to enjoy my kids not worry so much. I mean we all worry....but, do you cry (sob) everyday at anytime from worrying??? Yeah, it's just me....I feel like I shouldn't participate in anything fun because I don't want to bring everyone down with my sadness.....

I do have some amazing friends though.....they really are an amazing group of woman and I love them all.....

My husband tries to console me but, it's hard I'm sure for him too....

Jackson has testing 9/19 which seems so far away.....but, I'm glad its set. I'm hoping for the best. Keep praying...never stop!

Denise

When It Rains It Pours

Lots of stuff has been going on with my family......where do I start??? I feel like 2012 has been the greatest yet hardest year of my life!!!

1. Janae went to a concert at The Grove and fell. She was rushed to UCI where they did a CT of her back and everything was fine EXCEPT for a 2cm nodule on her Thyroid! WHAT! So I made an appt to see a Endocrinologist. He did 6 biopsies and they came back fine. She may need surgery to remove it still....we still have to go back.

2. While my husband was on vacation I made him an appt with our PCP and he had a physical.....we ultimately found out he has high cholesterol, Arthritis in his knees, and skin cancer. He's amess but I hope to get lots of it resolved and his health back on check. We go today to see a dermatologist to check the rest of his moles and we go see a reconstructive surgeon for the cancer on his ear. (hes seeing the same Dr who did my breast Reconstruction)

3. We were just told Jackson...my 2yr old may have Autism. I'm completely devastated over it and I'm in a panic to get him the help he needs. This will potentially turn our lives upside down. I just hope I do everything right by him. Now I'm paranoid that Jersey is showing signs of Autism....I hope not..I hope it's just me being crazy. Lets pray.

So I have hired a family friend to be a part-time Nanny for us. Since I don't have my parents I need the extra help. I'm really excited to get help with the kids so I can get stuff done! It's much needed! I hope she loves my kids and they don't drive her crazy....lol

I'll have updates on it all...so keep an eye out on my BLOG!

Denise xoxo

The latest on My Clan!

The kids are all getting soooo big!

Janae is now 16 and just told me she's not in any rush to drive....That was news to me but I'm kinda relieved...phew! She is growing into such a wonderful woman. It's really a pleasure to be her mom. She really respects me and I appreciate and respect HER for that.

My beautiful Janae!

Jayden....He is such a bright, energetic, fun loving little guy! Jayden just turned 4 and makes me laugh all the time! He has a BFF named Taylor...him and Taylor are a crack up...they fight and get on each other nerves but, in the end are besties....They get upset, and then move on like kids should...lol! He is attending preschool and is really enjoying that! He is a bright kid and is a joy to be around!!

The oh so silly Jayden!

Jackson- The terrible 2's are in full effect over here with this little guy! But, Jackson is my sweetie pie and brings so much joy to my heart. He is the cutest little guy and he will steal your heart too. His presence is breathtaking....he really is just full of sweetness!

Action Jackson at his 2nd birthday party!

My Jersey Girl- The feisty oh so sassy miss Jersey! She is def keeping up with her brothers and pulling her own weight. She is def making a mark on this family. She is a funny, spunky, full of life little girl! I just love her contagious smile and booty dance! She make me laugh soooo much! To me....she's a combo of Jackson and Jayden....which makes for a amazing personality! My 13mo old is a DIVA!!

The beautiful and always elegant Jersey.

Denise xoxo!

Mammogram & Ultrasound

So today was the big day. I went in for my Mammogram and Ultrasound this morning.

I drive up to this big building and I pull into the parking structure where I had to drive all the way up to the top to park. As soon as I walk into the Breast Care Center I have this feeling come over me. It's kinda hard to explain. I felt sadness for myself and a little scared. So as I walk in to see a lot of older woman who are bald from Chemo and a lot of older woman who are their for testing as well. I take the elevator with other woman up to the 2nd floor where I was going to have my testing done. I walk into the office and immediately everyone looks at me...everyone. I needed a sign that had said "yes, I'm young and, yes I'm having a Mammo"! or something like that. Anyways, It was weird...and uncomfortable. The whole thing is just weird.

So they call me back and tell me I need to undress...I wore a strapless dress so I could just take my bra off....My idea was genius! So then I wait...with other half naked woman...in a room. Once again...weird. They finally call my name where she has tons of questions for me and I in turn have tons of questions for her....of course hers were by far more important than mine..ha! The whole thing was over in about 10mins. AND...PAINLESS!!! YES!

Then she has me sit...again....Another tech calls me into the Ultrasound room where she does her test.

So in the end they did find the lump I was complaining about and the Pathologist is recommending I see a Surgeon. I'm worried. But, I know I will be ok..whatever the outcome is I'm fine with. I'm actually not nervous if I do have cancer. It's my path. I have a very supportive family and I know we will all be fine ;)

Denise xoxo!

Urgent??

Well, I got a call from my Dr's office regarding my referral for the Mammogram and ultrasound. I guess my Dr flagged it as URGENT! Wow, as if I wasn't worried enough. The nurse called me 3 times saying how important it was that she speak to me TODAY! So it seems that the Breast Center is fitting me in because of the urgency of the matter. Urgency? It's really an urgency??? OK, I guess with my history....I can see why. It's just scary to hear the word "urgent".

I go and check in at  the Breast Center @ 9:45am to have all the testing done. Then from there I guess they will instruct me and I'm sure it's a waiting game. Wish me luck!

Denise xoxo!

Did someone say Big Boy Undies?!?!

Well, Jayden is officially potty trained...phew! Sooooo, Monday morning he woke up and like I do every morning I went to change his diaper. This is our conversation: Me- Jayden lets change your diaper. Jayden- No mommy I don't want to put a diaper on. Me- Do you want big boy undies? Jayden- Yes!  It was really that simple...done. Potty trained! Yup.....

So that was Monday. On Tuesday we went to Disneyland with no diapers...yes, the very next day!!!! I went with lots of underwear and clothes just in case. But, to my surprise I didn't need them. Not 1 accident. Nope, not 1!!!! We are so proud of him!

YAY Jayden!!!!!

xoxo Denise!

Happy New Year!!

Happy Happy New Year!! 2011 was a really good year for me! Anything and everything good has happened to me in the last few years! 2011 was no exception to that. I had another baby which made a total of 4! She is such a joy and I couldn't imagine life without her!

 As for my partner in life, Dale is an amazing father, husband and friend and I feel every year we become closer. Dale has been this amazing person in MY life and I knew from the moment I met him he would change my life. Since 2006 he has been consistent with who he is and what he's about. Not once has he ever treated me badly or made me feel inadequate. He's amazing and it feels really good (blushing) So, this past year has been ahhhhmazing to say the least. We have been married 3yrs and 2012 will bring our 4th yr wedding anniversary and hopefully another bun in the oven!!! I really feel like the luckiest girl in the world and I'm so glad our lives worked out they way they did. I'm glad I went through all the pain to get to him. I'd do it all over again...no question on that! It's la la la la LOVE!

And my kids! Awww, what can I say! They are amazing....precious....adorable.....cute...funny...I can go on and on..ha ha! They are my W O R L D!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so lucky that from day 1 I have got to spend every min with them as a stay at home mommy!! Janae is an amazing big sis...she is my Angel. They and I...we are so blessed to have her. I'm just glad God gave me these kids and I promise I will always do right by them.

My friends, family and Church!! They are great to us! Our friends are always there for us all! Its so nice to have people who support and love you...yup, best feeling in the world and I just want them to know how much I love them and appreciate all they do.

And our Church...wow, what can I say. I have been a member of the LDS Church since 2010. Best thing I have ever done for me, my kids and my relationships with people in general. I belong to the best Church...the real truth. They love us unconditionally and I admire each and every one of them. They teach us not to be judgemental of anyone else and to respect everyone. I try...I'm not perfect but, I try. I love our ward and God has really blessed my home with the Gospel and we try to live by his words. Not pretend or do it for show but really live it. Really embrace his commandments. It has been life changing and I thank my heavenly father everyday for the blessings he has bestowed on us all.

Well, goodbye 2011....it was a GREAT year! Lookout 2012! The Sutton Family has more GREAT memories to make!

Love you all and God Bless you all!
XOXO- Denise

A trying week...

This week has been a really trying week for me. My entire family got the stomach flu. It really kicked our butts!!! We were all down for about a week. But the worst is..... My little sister Lisa and I got into a fight. She hit me. Yes, hit me. I don't know what she was thinking. I did not hit her back...she is out of her mind. She is a homeless drug addict who has lost custody of her 2 kids.  My sister doesn't want to change her ways and thinks she has done nothing wrong. WOW!! It's crazy and I don't understand it at all!! It is what it is and when she wants to change I will be here.

I try not to let her bother me or get to me but, I am the monitor for her and her kids. Its hard to work with her. I have decided to not be the monitor and distance myself from her...like; give her money, rides, let her stay here. She is totally out of control and after the scene she made at my house in front of my kids I have made this decision in favor of MY family.

One day I hope to write an amazing story about her......one day.