Wow! It's been a while...a long while! Since my last rant I am much more calmer. In the sense that I do have a lot of support! It was just people and things getting to me and that's how it came out.
Since my last post Jackson has gotten diagnosed to be on the Autism Spectrum. I wasn't surprised and I wasn't sad. I feel now that he is like any other kid. Having 4 kids I have found that every one has different needs and different obstacles...challenges. His are not really that much different from that of let's say a "normal" child. What is normal anyways??? I have a stubborn, spunky, always sassy 4yr old...is that normal? I have a child who obsesses and screams when approached....is that normal? I have a quiet child...hmmm, normal??? I have an independent child...is that normal? What really is? Jacks to me is pretty unique....he is our puzzle pie e.
Jacks words:
Hi
Bye bye
No
Yes
Yay
Please
Jacks signing words:
Help
Please
More
All done
Yay
Thank you
Bye bye
Hi
And working on his name....he will sign a j by his heart because his heart is so sweet and kind.
Jacks is beating autism everyday and I'm so proud to call him mine.
Showing posts with label Jackson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jackson. Show all posts
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Action Jackson...The sweetest guy I know.
I wanted to write about my sweet boy Jackson. He has Sensory Integration (Proceccesing) Dysfunction...THAT we do know. Most likely he will get a diagnosis of Autism to go along with that. I am only going to speak for myself on this post.
I am completely numb. I feel like a lot of people will not be supportive, but, really those people don't surprise me. They are the type that only want you around when they need something or they are going through something. I'm tired of that. I have my own worries. But those people were never MY friends to begin with. Never really family.
It's hard to go through stuff alone....It's hard not to have my mom and dad there to help support us. No one can really understand that.....everyone around me has family support. I do however have a great Church, friends, and my Heavenly Father. I feel that the people who will be there always have through my tough times. My son needs me..us to love and encourage him.
This little boy is sweet, thoughtful, kind and full of joy. He can also be quiet, non-social, disruptive, and hyper. The Dr's say he has Autism.....I don't even know what this means for him..us..me...his siblings. How will this affect our family...our friends....our life. Will he be able to live without us? Will he play sports? Will he get married and have kids of his own? All my dreams for my sweet little guy I feel are falling through my fingers...like butter. I can't catch them or get a grip on these questions. I feel kinda hopeless....I feel powerless. Will I be a good mother and teacher? Will I have enough patience? Will I help him succeed? All this pressure to make sure I do everything perfect.
I have talked to another mom who I met through a good friend. We have been emailing each other and I have been brutally honest about my feelings and how little I know about the Autism Spectrum. She is vibrant in her words....she is passionate....she is my hope! She has made me realize that my son is special....not special needs but, special. He has a gift...and I should look through his eyes. She encourages me to be knowledgeable because I am his voice. I am all he has. She's right! I can do it! I love him more than anything..I want the best and because I do..... HE WILL SUCCEED.
Denise xoxo
I am completely numb. I feel like a lot of people will not be supportive, but, really those people don't surprise me. They are the type that only want you around when they need something or they are going through something. I'm tired of that. I have my own worries. But those people were never MY friends to begin with. Never really family.
It's hard to go through stuff alone....It's hard not to have my mom and dad there to help support us. No one can really understand that.....everyone around me has family support. I do however have a great Church, friends, and my Heavenly Father. I feel that the people who will be there always have through my tough times. My son needs me..us to love and encourage him.
This little boy is sweet, thoughtful, kind and full of joy. He can also be quiet, non-social, disruptive, and hyper. The Dr's say he has Autism.....I don't even know what this means for him..us..me...his siblings. How will this affect our family...our friends....our life. Will he be able to live without us? Will he play sports? Will he get married and have kids of his own? All my dreams for my sweet little guy I feel are falling through my fingers...like butter. I can't catch them or get a grip on these questions. I feel kinda hopeless....I feel powerless. Will I be a good mother and teacher? Will I have enough patience? Will I help him succeed? All this pressure to make sure I do everything perfect.
I have talked to another mom who I met through a good friend. We have been emailing each other and I have been brutally honest about my feelings and how little I know about the Autism Spectrum. She is vibrant in her words....she is passionate....she is my hope! She has made me realize that my son is special....not special needs but, special. He has a gift...and I should look through his eyes. She encourages me to be knowledgeable because I am his voice. I am all he has. She's right! I can do it! I love him more than anything..I want the best and because I do..... HE WILL SUCCEED.
Jackson!
Mommy, Jackson & Daddy
Denise xoxo
Thursday, August 30, 2012
.......
I don't know how to even title this post without thinking.....Denise...really, your putting that. DELETE. Then I type another title...oh really...even worse. DELETE. I feel so blah and my title is making me depressed. No, really.....
Thinking back....Jackson has never hugged me or given me a kiss....ever. I thought it was just him. I thought well, he just isn't very emotional. Now I'm sad...thinking he may never hug me...or give me a kiss..or even talk. All my dreams I feel are gone. I don't want to think the worst. I want to have hope....but, when your faced with the worst it's all you think about. OK!! ENOUGH! I'm done going there! If you ever hear me being negative....smack me!!! HARD!!!! My Jack Jack will succeed. PERIOD!
I want to write about Jersey walking and all the cute things she's doing but, i feel myself thinking....but, is she autistic too or have something wrong with her....why isn't she pointing like other 1yr olds??? Why, why, why?!?!? I feel like a complete paranoid freak.
"Jersey...say ma-ma.....Jersey...wave.....Jersey say more......Jersey....say da-da......" Really??? I'm annoyed and kinda embarrassed I'm doing this.....She's14mos.
I hope this passes and I can become normal. I'm his voice. That's what I keep saying. My sons nurse (who has an Autistic son herself) told me to just deal with Jackson...one day and one thing at a time. I know I need to but, my mind is just racing. I just want to enjoy my kids not worry so much. I mean we all worry....but, do you cry (sob) everyday at anytime from worrying??? Yeah, it's just me....I feel like I shouldn't participate in anything fun because I don't want to bring everyone down with my sadness.....
I do have some amazing friends though.....they really are an amazing group of woman and I love them all.....
My husband tries to console me but, it's hard I'm sure for him too....
Jackson has testing 9/19 which seems so far away.....but, I'm glad its set. I'm hoping for the best. Keep praying...never stop!
Denise
Thinking back....Jackson has never hugged me or given me a kiss....ever. I thought it was just him. I thought well, he just isn't very emotional. Now I'm sad...thinking he may never hug me...or give me a kiss..or even talk. All my dreams I feel are gone. I don't want to think the worst. I want to have hope....but, when your faced with the worst it's all you think about. OK!! ENOUGH! I'm done going there! If you ever hear me being negative....smack me!!! HARD!!!! My Jack Jack will succeed. PERIOD!
I want to write about Jersey walking and all the cute things she's doing but, i feel myself thinking....but, is she autistic too or have something wrong with her....why isn't she pointing like other 1yr olds??? Why, why, why?!?!? I feel like a complete paranoid freak.
"Jersey...say ma-ma.....Jersey...wave.....Jersey say more......Jersey....say da-da......" Really??? I'm annoyed and kinda embarrassed I'm doing this.....She's14mos.
I hope this passes and I can become normal. I'm his voice. That's what I keep saying. My sons nurse (who has an Autistic son herself) told me to just deal with Jackson...one day and one thing at a time. I know I need to but, my mind is just racing. I just want to enjoy my kids not worry so much. I mean we all worry....but, do you cry (sob) everyday at anytime from worrying??? Yeah, it's just me....I feel like I shouldn't participate in anything fun because I don't want to bring everyone down with my sadness.....
I do have some amazing friends though.....they really are an amazing group of woman and I love them all.....
My husband tries to console me but, it's hard I'm sure for him too....
Jackson has testing 9/19 which seems so far away.....but, I'm glad its set. I'm hoping for the best. Keep praying...never stop!
Denise
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
When will the crying stop
I feel like one minute I'm good and then the next I'm sobbing.....I feel like I have a death in the family....I want to make Jackson Better! I don't want him to suffer in life. I just hope I can do whatever needs to be done and then some! I'm so angry and upset at myself. What could I have done differently while I was pregnant? What can I do now? I just don't know where to start....
I'm just so sad and I can't control my emotions right now.
We went on Monday to see his speech pathologist for the 2nd part of his assessment and now we just wait for auths for his speech therapy to begin. She said it should take about 2 weeks. I also spoke to Regional on Monday and they will be setting up another evaluation for him. Hopefully this all happens quickly so we can start therapy and work on his success.
Denise xoxo
I'm just so sad and I can't control my emotions right now.
We went on Monday to see his speech pathologist for the 2nd part of his assessment and now we just wait for auths for his speech therapy to begin. She said it should take about 2 weeks. I also spoke to Regional on Monday and they will be setting up another evaluation for him. Hopefully this all happens quickly so we can start therapy and work on his success.
Denise xoxo
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year!!
Happy Happy New Year!! 2011 was a really good year for me! Anything and everything good has happened to me in the last few years! 2011 was no exception to that. I had another baby which made a total of 4! She is such a joy and I couldn't imagine life without her!
As for my partner in life, Dale is an amazing father, husband and friend and I feel every year we become closer. Dale has been this amazing person in MY life and I knew from the moment I met him he would change my life. Since 2006 he has been consistent with who he is and what he's about. Not once has he ever treated me badly or made me feel inadequate. He's amazing and it feels really good (blushing) So, this past year has been ahhhhmazing to say the least. We have been married 3yrs and 2012 will bring our 4th yr wedding anniversary and hopefully another bun in the oven!!! I really feel like the luckiest girl in the world and I'm so glad our lives worked out they way they did. I'm glad I went through all the pain to get to him. I'd do it all over again...no question on that! It's la la la la LOVE!
And my kids! Awww, what can I say! They are amazing....precious....adorable.....cute...funny...I can go on and on..ha ha! They are my W O R L D!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so lucky that from day 1 I have got to spend every min with them as a stay at home mommy!! Janae is an amazing big sis...she is my Angel. They and I...we are so blessed to have her. I'm just glad God gave me these kids and I promise I will always do right by them.
My friends, family and Church!! They are great to us! Our friends are always there for us all! Its so nice to have people who support and love you...yup, best feeling in the world and I just want them to know how much I love them and appreciate all they do.
And our Church...wow, what can I say. I have been a member of the LDS Church since 2010. Best thing I have ever done for me, my kids and my relationships with people in general. I belong to the best Church...the real truth. They love us unconditionally and I admire each and every one of them. They teach us not to be judgemental of anyone else and to respect everyone. I try...I'm not perfect but, I try. I love our ward and God has really blessed my home with the Gospel and we try to live by his words. Not pretend or do it for show but really live it. Really embrace his commandments. It has been life changing and I thank my heavenly father everyday for the blessings he has bestowed on us all.
Well, goodbye 2011....it was a GREAT year! Lookout 2012! The Sutton Family has more GREAT memories to make!
Love you all and God Bless you all!
XOXO- Denise
As for my partner in life, Dale is an amazing father, husband and friend and I feel every year we become closer. Dale has been this amazing person in MY life and I knew from the moment I met him he would change my life. Since 2006 he has been consistent with who he is and what he's about. Not once has he ever treated me badly or made me feel inadequate. He's amazing and it feels really good (blushing) So, this past year has been ahhhhmazing to say the least. We have been married 3yrs and 2012 will bring our 4th yr wedding anniversary and hopefully another bun in the oven!!! I really feel like the luckiest girl in the world and I'm so glad our lives worked out they way they did. I'm glad I went through all the pain to get to him. I'd do it all over again...no question on that! It's la la la la LOVE!
And my kids! Awww, what can I say! They are amazing....precious....adorable.....cute...funny...I can go on and on..ha ha! They are my W O R L D!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so lucky that from day 1 I have got to spend every min with them as a stay at home mommy!! Janae is an amazing big sis...she is my Angel. They and I...we are so blessed to have her. I'm just glad God gave me these kids and I promise I will always do right by them.
My friends, family and Church!! They are great to us! Our friends are always there for us all! Its so nice to have people who support and love you...yup, best feeling in the world and I just want them to know how much I love them and appreciate all they do.
And our Church...wow, what can I say. I have been a member of the LDS Church since 2010. Best thing I have ever done for me, my kids and my relationships with people in general. I belong to the best Church...the real truth. They love us unconditionally and I admire each and every one of them. They teach us not to be judgemental of anyone else and to respect everyone. I try...I'm not perfect but, I try. I love our ward and God has really blessed my home with the Gospel and we try to live by his words. Not pretend or do it for show but really live it. Really embrace his commandments. It has been life changing and I thank my heavenly father everyday for the blessings he has bestowed on us all.
Well, goodbye 2011....it was a GREAT year! Lookout 2012! The Sutton Family has more GREAT memories to make!
Love you all and God Bless you all!
XOXO- Denise
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
It's been almost a month....
Well, it's been almost a month since my last blog. I'm not so used to this. I have never chronicled my life or things I do. But, I'm trying. So where do I start.
Jackson- He had his surgery and everything went great! He isn't talking yet but, he does seem happier to have the full use of his tongue. He's only 1 so I'm sure the talking will come. He is such a happy guy!!!
Jayden- Oh Jayden...where do I start with him? He really likes to test me. Bu6t, this kid has so much energy and is full of life....He really can make me angry at times though. I love him the same...for all he is!
Janae- My sunshine...my oldest...and my rock! She is still home schooled and still no answers as to why. I am hopeful that my daughter will live a pain free life..one day. In the meantime we pray and our faith is strong. Her faith is strong. I love her full of life attitude. She is respectful and helps out any way she can. We love her!
Jersey- My baby.....My precious lil one is amazing. Never really cries or is fussy. She is ALWAYS happy!
Me and the hubby are doing great! We try to have a date night at least once a week. I love how we go out and want to rush right home to our kids...funny but very true!!
I guess everything is O K in the Sutton home! LOL! Nothing to really complain about. I have ups and downs like everyone I guess.... but, am grateful and thankful for the life I have.
Have a great night!
xoxo! Denise
Jackson- He had his surgery and everything went great! He isn't talking yet but, he does seem happier to have the full use of his tongue. He's only 1 so I'm sure the talking will come. He is such a happy guy!!!
Jayden- Oh Jayden...where do I start with him? He really likes to test me. Bu6t, this kid has so much energy and is full of life....He really can make me angry at times though. I love him the same...for all he is!
Janae- My sunshine...my oldest...and my rock! She is still home schooled and still no answers as to why. I am hopeful that my daughter will live a pain free life..one day. In the meantime we pray and our faith is strong. Her faith is strong. I love her full of life attitude. She is respectful and helps out any way she can. We love her!
Jersey- My baby.....My precious lil one is amazing. Never really cries or is fussy. She is ALWAYS happy!
Me and the hubby are doing great! We try to have a date night at least once a week. I love how we go out and want to rush right home to our kids...funny but very true!!
I guess everything is O K in the Sutton home! LOL! Nothing to really complain about. I have ups and downs like everyone I guess.... but, am grateful and thankful for the life I have.
Have a great night!
xoxo! Denise
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