Action Jackson...The sweetest guy I know.

I wanted to write about my sweet boy Jackson. He has Sensory Integration (Proceccesing) Dysfunction...THAT we do know. Most likely he will get a diagnosis of Autism to go along with that. I am only going to speak for myself on this post.

I am completely numb. I feel like a lot of people will not be supportive, but, really those people don't surprise me. They are the type that only want you around when they need something or they are going through something. I'm tired of that. I have my own worries. But those people were never MY friends to begin with. Never really family.

It's hard to go through stuff alone....It's hard not to have my mom and dad there to help support us. No one can really understand that.....everyone around me has family support. I do however have a great Church, friends, and my Heavenly Father. I feel that the people who will be there always have through my tough times. My son needs me..us to love and encourage him.

This little boy is sweet, thoughtful, kind and full of joy. He can also be quiet, non-social, disruptive, and hyper. The Dr's say he has Autism.....I don't even know what this means for him..us..me...his siblings. How will this affect our family...our friends....our life. Will he be able to live without us? Will he play sports? Will he get married and have kids of his own? All my dreams for my sweet little guy I feel are falling through my fingers...like butter. I can't catch them or get a grip on these questions. I feel kinda hopeless....I feel powerless. Will I be a good mother and teacher? Will I have enough patience? Will I help him succeed? All this pressure to make sure I do everything perfect.

I have talked to another mom who I met through a good friend. We have been emailing each other and I have been brutally honest about my feelings and how little I know about the Autism Spectrum. She is vibrant in her words....she is passionate....she is my hope! She has made me realize that my son is special....not special needs but, special. He has a gift...and I should look through his eyes. She encourages me to be knowledgeable because I am his voice. I am all he has. She's right! I can do it! I love him more than anything..I want the best and because I do..... HE WILL SUCCEED.

Jackson!

 

 Mommy, Jackson & Daddy

Denise xoxo